the most useless being on the planet?

I once lived a life with constant ups and downs, downs and ups. meaning, that outer things had a huge effect on my happiness. however little by little learned to live in a quite stable happiness, even if things didn’t flow that well all the time (never does because life. and when you take life as it comes, always flows well. paradox. another story.) when things seemed finally go extremely well, when I tended to tell everyone my life is perfect… yep, things happened. that’s life’s perfect flow I guess. new things to learn, more growing needed, and so on.

few days ago I felt odd feeling in my solar plexus area. not bad, not good, just odd. I felt it very clearly (radiated little to my throat chakra too). it didn’t effect on my happiness (like it might have done a decade ago), it didn’t make me anxious, or tired, or anything else. just made me wonder. I felt a bit like surrounded by fog, there were something I wanted to see, n o w, too hasty to patiently wait it to clear its way to my knowledge, on its own right time. my efforts to try to force things created dead ends. lack of faith, lack of good vibes (of course, and luckily so!) that made me frustrated and I felt like the most useless being on this planet.

then I was told by many, that I tend to give a lot of myself and attract energies, that might mess my vision. just slow down, be happy. find your center, settle to yourself. enjoy. also I understood my only mission these days should be doing what feels good. and not turning happy things to burdens. my dreams seemed to say the same, that I fuss too much to make something happen, when I just could wait. it’s coming. right to where I am. then it’s time to get on the plane and fly.

so what to do when you want to go, run, see the future? make the future? I was told to dance, to eat well, to go to the forest, draw… to ground myself. okay. I promised to stop to shoo the fog (how many times in one lifetime one has to notice the same?!?)

and I have. how joyful. I bubble again.

and no wonder was craving for color yellow to balance the chakra. I was told also, that this tone helps grounding yourself. enjoy.